Tuesday, November 4, 2008

My new theory

I was patrolling the etsy forums last night and ran across a thread that made me think. A woman was questioning why after she'd done all the work printing, embellishing, addressing, etc all her wedding invitations, her fiance took a nap rather than feeling lead to help her with the envelope stuffing. I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I've figured out about why men don't feel the need to help out with things like this:

They figure it's a lot easier to get us to forgive them for not helping than for screwing it up.

They know that if they don't help, we'll be upset, but we'll move on eventually. If they mess up something for the wedding, they will be reminded of it on every anniversary until they die. Besides, they know they'll most likely do something that isn't up to our standards, get yelled at about it, and then we'll take on the task of doing it ourselves so that it's done properly. They're really just skipping a few steps in the process.

This is not a conscious decision by any means. Men do not realize that this is the thought process. They simply avoiding doing things that they might make mistakes at because we women have conditioned them that way. It's not that we aren't grateful when they help, it's just that they don't help "right" and we're tired of cleaning up the mess. What they don't understand is that, while deep down we may not really want their help because they will inevitably screw it up, we still want them to want to help. Maybe they do, but they just hide it very well.

So, ladies, next time you feel frustrated that your sweetie isn't lifting a finger, just remember that he's actually saving you the time you would have to spend chewing him out for getting it wrong. Be honest with yourself, you know he won't do it right. Save everyone the resentment and frustration. Thank him for not screwing it up by not trying and move on.

No comments: