Thursday, April 12, 2007

Eleanor Roosevelt and Valerie Bertinelli

Eleanor Roosevelt was a very wise woman. I have tried to live my life by the quote "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I am a very firm believer in that. But it's really difficult not to give consent when I have to listen to Valerir Bertinelli on TV vowing to lose weight with Jenny Craig because she's fat. She's a size 14!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am a size 16-18. If that woman is fat, I should just give up. I am just so angry at being made to feel that size 14 is fat and I therefore am fatter than fat. I thought that once I got through high school and college I was done with this crap! I'm tired of having these woman who look more than skinny enough to me tell me that they're fat and therefore so am I. You know what, I'm heavier than I want to be, but I'm not fat. I want to get back down to a 14, but that's where I stop. So while Valerie Bertinelli vows to get smaller than a 14, I make 14 my goal. So screw you Jenny Craig and Valerie Bertinelli. I'm happy with who I am and you're not going to make me want to change.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Don't Drink the Water

Well, I've stopped drinking from the water fountain at work due to a semi-recent outbreak of pregnancy among the staff. I'm currently working on two baby afghans at once (the other two affected staff members were seasonal and no longer work with me so they don't get afghans, so there!) The night before last, I looked down at the afghan I was knitting for the first time in a while and realized I'd made a dreadfully obvious and unattractive mistake! I had to take out about 5 inches worth of work to reach the problem area and correct it. Tonight I finally made it all the way back up to where I had once been and used up all the pulled-out wadded yarn that had collected at my feet.

Maybe no one would have noticed but me. That's what people always tell me. There's one thing that no one else realizes:

I'll notice! It will keep me awake at night. I'll be haunted by the ghost of projects passed. I'll become a mindless knit-zombie unable to function without correcting heinous mistakes! Doomed to pull out projects and make corrections for all eternity. Trapped in my own personal hell untangling miles and miles of yarn! A thousand sheep will weep copiously at the horrors heaped upon the fruit of their wool! Oh, the agony! Oh, the humanity!

I need to go lie down. It's all just been too much for me.